Well, heres a life update:
It only took me a week(its been 2 weeks since we broke),
I managed to fix my car to the point it works the saturday after we broke, the monday i went to work and actually had lunch in the same room without flaw, and got my money straight for whatever my plan was. Tuesday and Wenesday met someone about a place and packed everything while working a full week. Thursday, requested a department change at work because i was through working for ignorant ass holes, introduced my dog to landlady, and finalized moved dates. friday, had dinner with my dad that i have been mad at for months. Then woke up saturday and moved everything so that i could be far away from him and closer to work.
i some how found a back bone, fixed the car that wasnt moving, found enough money to move, and relised i never needed him.
P.S. ive already have a few dates lined up, though im definetly not looking for anything serious anytime soon.
So as you probably know, I have a boyfriend, who has actually been in my life for about 8 months. Well, last night he was having a anxiety attack, so i tried my hardest to help him, feed him, give him cold drinks, and leave him alone. Finally, i settled down to relax with his for the night, and he looks at me and says; “Ive grown attached to you”. So i found that to be heart warming, and I felt like he actually wanted to open up alittle to me. Oh was I wrong… twenty minutes later he looks at me, and says he wants to break up….. WTFFF mate…!??!?! polar opposites? think so. So we both left the house, i bawled my eyes out and my sister came and got me, while he ran to his friends house. So now im stuck… whats his deal?
I think maybe he is scared that hes in to deep with me,
or that he feels he can not taste freedom anymore.
I am so deprived from the knowledge that I need for some closure. Im comfused and every single thing I see or touch is making me want him, making me want to feel him next to me..
I just feel so empty right now..
attempts…. :/
You and I have not been very friendly,
Im sorry I have not lived everyday like it was my last,
or taken a long walk alone like I normally do,
I have not enjoyed the taste of craziness/ possible disaster,
and I sure as hell have not made it to church enough.
Some how I have also found myself with more health issues, and pains then i ever want again..
I do however feel that I have succeeded in a lot of things during your visit.
I have managed to keep a full time job for a whole year(which is my first REAL full time job),
I have managed to up my work rates, and have taken on more responsibilities.
This year i managed to meet someone who does not drive me completely nuts, that can live with my improper, careless, completely disorganized and indecisive self.
Also, I have found myself with more happiness and more hope for life.
I have found myself less depressed, and more excepting to my family and friends/lack of friends.
I have finally stopped being walked over and started using my back bone that for so many years was ignored.
I have found myself with a few pets I did not have in the beginning of the year, but I love and enjoy each one.
Though, all in all, i have found life to be more lovable, and have found new ways to cope with the problems i have faced.
So thank you, 2011. You have made me a better person.
P.S.: hope your brother 2012 is just as cool :)
~Skyler
Reta
winnie <3
So it hit me today that i have a obsession. Im not sure if theres a real term for it, but I find myself collecting animals. not hoarding, just rescuing random animals for me to watch, feed, and love. Its a ridiculous thing really. I mean every single animal has its short little story of how i came to them. mainly i find myself achieving one animal, and then wanting a second so the first is not lonesome. Guess theres a little part of me trying to make everything find its little bit of happiness. I’ll tell you about one for right now, and later fill in the rest. Reta, she is a dumbo rat. She was bought from a snake food dealer. When i saw her as a baby she reminded me of a little black and white Pokemon sitting in my hand. She was about the size of a golf ball and i could not stand to think someone would buy her for food. I had already had a hairless, albino rat that i loved dearly. That rats name was winnie. She was the sweetest, smartest, most lovable animal i think i have ever had, but she loved the wheel, and sadly the wheel was her end. So i bought Reta for Winnie, and watched them chase each other and play. They did this adorable thing that made me laugh; Winnie would take everything i fed them, and go hide it in their little house, and then Reta would take it and bury it on the other side of the tank. They would go on for hours doing this, until they were tired. When Winnie pasted, you could tell how upset Reta was, she just paced, or slept for days. So thats when i bought Peach…. But thats a story for a different day.
photography for me is a stress relief :)